It's your fucking nightmare

I'm glad this blog is anonymous. Because if it weren't, I wouldn't have said half the shit I said and sure as fuck wouldn't be telling you what I'm about to tell you.

I've been having nightmares. It's strange because I don't normally have nightmares in the spring. For some reason my nightmares are seasonal. They usually start in the fall. In October, I'll start having one nightmare about 8 times a month, they'll stop in November (I'll continue to get this nightmare through out the year but it's rare) Then about half way through November, I'll start having another nightmare. This one happens about 9 or 10 times a month and usually I get this nightmare from November to February. November through February I sometimes have to put towels under my bed because I get so terrified, that I piss the bed(I am asleep when this happens of course.) However, in the first or second week of March, the nightmares stop. I mean, I still have them, but it's much more rare and they're not as vivid. Also, I never get so scared I piss my pants in the spring.

I've always been terrified to fall asleep but I didn't start having nightmares until I was 12. I absolutely hate sharing a bed but now I would give anything for someone to fall asleep with because I have been having a new nightmare. I refuse to talk about the nightmares I've been having for the past few years, because they're a bit too personal. I had a nightmare while sleeping over at a friend's house on Friday. It wasn't very personal and I didn't piss my pants in fear.

To fully understand this dream, you must understand three things about me:

1. Mosaic is a guy that I had/have feelings for
2. I am ichthyophobic. A phobia is a fear that controls your life and can many times be debilitating, not only do I not like fish, but I am legitimately terrified of fish. Some people who don't like small spaces may claim to be claustrophobic, when in reality, they aren't claustrophobic, they just don't like small spaces. A true claustrophobic would have an anxiety attack when in a small space,when some one who doesn't like small spaces would just be in a hurry to get out of the small space. I am a true ichthyophobic.
3. I despise all fish however, none of them terrify me as much as angler fish.

Mosaic and I are standing on a dock. The wind is blowing and the sky is grey.
"It's beautiful." I say looking down at the lake.
Mosaic is behind me and I turn around, our lips are inches from eachother when I say "What would you do if I told you I liked you?"
"I'd push you in."
I turn my head and look at the lake. All of the sudden, there are angler fish jumping out everywhere (If you know anything about angler fish, you know that this is impossible. Angler fish would die from pressure change because they live miles under the ocean.) "Oh." I say.
 He pulls me in even closer. "You like me, don't you?"
I smile........ and he pushes me in.


I only had that dream once. I've been having the same dream two days in a row now. I haven't decided weather I want to share it or not.


Tell me, what's your nightmare? You've already read about mine.