I miss

Things I miss about 9th grade.

I miss getting easy math

I miss not having a ton of homework

I miss the short classes

I miss getting out early on Fridays

I miss walking home from the bus stop

I miss ceramics

I miss the "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" jokes in ceramics

I miss talking shit in ceramics

I miss having almost every class with Jd

I miss having friends who are girls

I miss having freedom on the weekends

I miss 9th grade so much.

As if you aren't creepy enough...

So apparently Sunday's post didn't get posted until today.
What the fuck?

So today has been rough.
Tomorrow will be better.
So much better.

I went to bed late and woke up feeling sick.
Then I started having ITunes drama
I don't have real life drama, because my friends aren't dramatic, and I'm not either.
But ITunes drama is the worst.
I updated my ITunes library and it erased some music.
Here's a list of shit it managed to erase:

Pretty much all my Slayer albums with the exception of "Reign in Blood"
All my Megadeath
Two Alice In Chains albums
Nine Dream Theater albums
A few Bullet For My Valentine songs
All my Bring Me The Horizon
Two Godsmack albums
All my D.R.U.G.S
And all my Pantera...with the exception of two songs. (Thanks for being merciful, ITunes)

So then I start feeling sick. And I find out I have a physics test on Wednesday. Oh joy. I have to make a study guide for that which is what I should be doing now but...whatever. I have a math test on Friday. Which sucks and OH I have an F in world history. How? Well apparently my midterm test went in as missing. I don't know how it happened either but it was enough to bring my grade down from a 97% to a 47%. Today is not my day.

In summary, today sucked dick.


Question: How was your day? I sincerely hope it wasn't as worthless as mine.

DRAMA!

Okay so I don't know how to start this. There's this guy. Actually there's two guys.
So I guess I'll start off with my pathetic crush on this guy in my physics class. It's seriously pathetic. My friend and I are having a contest to see who can say more words to their crush. The score? Him:86 Me: 54
I kinda creep his facebook page...it's sad, I know but anyways it's like everything I find out about him, makes me like him even more. Seriously like we have SO much in common. He's like the guy version of me.
1. He likes Slayer, Dream Theater and Megadeath
2. He uses "That's what she said!" more than I do (I didn't even know that was possible but I guess it is)
3. He's into MMA and UFC etc
4. He's cute as hell (Hi, if you're reading this right now, stop.)
5. (I'm writing this just because I can) according to B, he has " HE HAS GORGEOUS SHOULDER BLADES" 
So yeah. I've said like 54 words to him. I'm seriously impressed with myself. Because I am so shy it's ridiculous. I'd tell you what I've said, but it's just depressing. Like not even interesting. I actually said Hi once but that doesn't matter because well... he didn't hear it!


ANYWAYS there's this guy named Kevin(Well Kevin isn't his real name)
So I'm starting to get kinda freaked out. At first, yes I liked him...a little but he's just WAY too into me. On Thursday, he asked me if I wanted to hang out I said yes so we hung out at my place(Nothing happened for those of you who were wondering) On Friday he asked me if I wanted to go to a game with him again, I said yes. So we hung out on Friday  and he also asked me  out. And I said "Maybe" For these reasons :
1. It was way too soon. I don't know him well enough to date him! I mean being friends with someone before you go out with them isn't too much to ask for...is it? I mean I'm not saying I wanna know every dirty little secret but I do want to get to know him better like his personality and what not. He makes a lot of comments on my looks which worries me a ton. I don't mind if a guy calls me hot or sexy but he doesn't even know me that well. I just think I need to get to know him better.


2. The situation is complicated...very complicated. 


3. I'm still really into the guy in my Physics class. Because in all seriousness, have you seen his shoulder blades? Yeah I didn't think so. You haven't seen how hot he is so don't judge. Like seriously we'd be so good together, it makes me wanna vomit.


4. Kevin's kinda creeping me out. So we hung out on Thursday, and Friday and my birthday party was on Saturday so we hung out then too and he texted me about two hours ago and asked if I wanted to hang out again. DUDE I need a break. I can spend DAYS with my friends, but with a guy who's interested in dating me? HA! I can't spend that much time with him. I NEED space. I can be kind of a loner. I can also be VERY distant. There are times when I turn my phone off for weeks at a time and I need a guy who can deal with that. I can't have a guy who wants to spend every moment of every day with me. I don't want to be in a relationship where he's telling me he loves me with in a week. I seem to have a problem attracting this type of guy. Honestly, I've had to block three numbers. I can't be with a clingy guy. Today my mother and I were at the mall and I was applying for jobs. Kevin decided to text me. I am being totally serious. This is what happened.


2:03 PM
Him: hey =)


2:05 PM
Him: Hey :)


2:06 PM
Him: Hey :)


If you're reading this and wondering if this is a red flag, well... uh...
Fuck yes it is!


On a scale from 1 to 10 (Ten being the most worrisome) this would rate at at least an 8.
DUDE give me a few minutes to reply! Sometimes my friends take ten minutes to reply! I don't send three hellos to them one and two minutes after I sent the first one! If they don't reply the first time I assume they're busy! My phone was on silent because I was applying for jobs! The three hellos weren't really creepy, it's just worrisome. If you can't wait two minutes for me to reply, we have a problem. Yeah. I am one of those people who needs tons of personal space. I LIKE SPENDING MY SUNDAYS ALONE. Let me make that bold. ALONE. I don't mind going on dates on a Friday night but I'm not gonna hang out with you every day I can. I'm just a really distant person and I need a guy who can deal with that. ALSO I don't want to worry about a guy hurting himself because I break up with him. And just an FYI I have the tendency to push clingy guys away.


SO yeah on this one...I'm leaning towards a no.


Question: Are you the type of person who needs TONS of space?


Summary:
There's this guy in my physics class that I have a crush on and he doesn't know I exist and then there's this guy named Kevin who I could like but he's getting wayy too into me


Last night I had enough of you
I put down the brakes
And I could tell you took it hard it was over your face
Since you're slippin and flippin
But here is the sitch
I signed up for a man
You are just a bitch

You should know
That I love you a lot
But I just can't date a dude with a vag

Now you have two broken arms...GUESS WHAT YOU CAN'T DO!

So. Who wants to hear about my Friday night? It's interesting. I promise.

Funny thing about high school football games: When you're avoiding the guy who has managed to shatter your self confidence and break your heart on two different occasions...YOU WILL RUN INTO HIM.

    

You can walk around like a ninja, checking over your shoulder every five minutes making sure he's not following you or standing right behind you or walking towards you or whatever and you're still going to run into him.

But before I start talking about him, let me tell you about my Friday afternoon.

I watched Law and Order, then I played "Cowboys From Hell" on my bass, then I was listening to "Symphony Of Destruction" and then I started to walk to a restaurant to meet my friends and then we went to the game. I was happy for these reasons:

1. It's Friday

2. It's Friday and I'm hanging out with my friends

3. I don't have to go to school on Monday!

4. My birthday's coming up!!!

So anyways we run into him.  First we weren't avoiding him like ninjas lurking in the allies because I didn't think he'd be there. So he walks by and I'm like "FUCK. I wanna go home."

And my friend Andrea said "Oh shit! Was that him?" So basically, we were doing everything in our power to make him NOT notice me. Now before I tell  you what happened next you have to know a few things about me:

1. I don't wear shorts. Ever. I'm serious, you will never see me in a pair of shorts.

2. I don't like rap. Especially, Lil Wayne and T-Pain

3. If I have something from Hollister, I bought it from a thrift store.

4. My real name is not Jessica.

5. Oh and I don't do ballet...at all.

So we're standing watching the game and all of the sudden Andrea looks at me and says "Do NOT turn around." And she mouths "He's right behind you."

So we're awkwardly standing there trying to avoid the only guy who's actually hurt me and talking about the weather.

Then she turns to me and says "So...JESSICA do you wanna hang out after ballet?"

"YES AND LET'S GO TO HOLLISTER AND BUY SOME REALLY SHORT SHORTS AND WE CAN LISTEN TO RAP ON OUR WAY THERE!" Yeah, we were pretty loud there.

After we were able to get away without him noticing me, I was like "Dude. Now he knows that wasn't me!"

Normally I wouldn't go to these lengths to avoid someone, shit I don't even put this much effort in avoiding my ex but whenever I'm around this guy, I turn into a mess.

So I spent the rest of my evening crying myself to sleep listening to "Baby Blue Eyes" I don't even know what's wrong with me.

In summery: I guy I liked a very long time ago was able to ruin my Friday night and he doesn't even know

Question: What would you do to avoid your Ex or the idiot who broke your heart?

I let him think he's a know it all
But whatever he does wrong, it seems so right
My eyes don't believe him, but my heart swears by his

Baby, baby blue eyes
Stay with me by my side
til the morning, through the night
(cant get you out of my mind)
Well baby, stand here holding my sides
Close your baby blue eyes
Every moment feels right
And I may feel like a fool
But Im the only one dancing with you 

Know me broken...by my master

Hey what's up? So if you're wondering about my crush, I didn't see him to day because of this A/B day schedule...


B days are my favorite.


Okay so. Moving on to school.
So I have Spanish homework, Engineering and Design homework, and I've got some World Civ stuff to do and oh yeah I'm doing robotics! Yay! Fuck, I'm bored. I'm literally sitting at the computer twirling my hair and watching porn. Just kidding.


I'm typing this blog.
DUH.


Okay so moving on to drama.
I just pissed my mom off, by asking her to leave.
So did anyone watch Jersey Shore last night?
Don't worry I didn't either.


Okay SO I'm going to do TWO new things in my blog. At the end, I'm going to sumerize the whole fucking block because there are people out there who just don't care to read this and I'm going to Post song lyrics after the question. So yeah.


In summary.
I only see the guy I like on B days, and B days are my favorite. I have homework from three classes. I don't watch Jersey Shore, and my mom is mad at me.


Question: Do you like raisins?
They're amazing.


"Into The Flood Again
Same Old Trip It Was Back Then
So I Made A Big Mistake
Try To See It Once My Way"

Torn.

So I kinda have a crush on this guy. Correction. I had a crush on this guy. Okay so what happened was there's this girl who I'm becoming friends with and I asked her who she liked. It's so fucking predictable that I don't even need to say it. We like the same guy. SO I told him, got in physical fight with her and now he and I are dating....just kidding. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I was just kidding. She didn't know I liked him, I just told her I don't have a crush. She also told me she's liked him for three years. Call me ridiculous but if she's liked him for three years, she can have him. I'm not gonna fight her over this. I'm sorry but ruining a friendship over a relationship with a guy that can last three months AT THE MOST is insane. I give up, I'm not gonna chase him around if she's been at it for three years. When I was six, I met my best friend. His name isn't important anyways, we're still best friends today and I had the misfortune of liking him when I was younger. When I was 10, he went to middle school and I was still in elementary(I liked him for about four years). He was also a year older than me. Anyways, after that, I moved. The distance tears me apart. I never knew what a broken heart felt like until I found my self crying myself to sleep over it five years later.  Basically, what I'm trying to say is, when you like someone for a long amount of time, it's insanely sucky to get your heart smashed. I know that from experience. Getting your heart smashed and being backstabbed by a friend is even worse. Thankfully, I don't know that from experience.  

Shut up and tell me I'm pretty

SO got my braces off today. Hell yes. Uhrm not much else happened other than my self esteem being boosted by like erm let's see... a lot! It's so weird! I feel SO pretty. Even though I'm not. Well I'm not ugly but I'm not gorgeous. My teeth feel weird and slimy and GROSS. But they actually don't look bad. I hear stories about people who end up with holes in their teeth when the braces come off because they didn't brush. I brushed my teeth and I still do but I was absolutely FREAKED OUT. "What if my brushing wasn't good enough? What if the toothpaste wasn't the right kind?" They're a little yellow in some places but nothing to worry about. Apparently whitening strips will fix it. And now I have to wear a mouth piece for jujitsu ): so sad. I can't wait for them to take the bottom ones off. Oh and I have no holes in my teeth! I was so worried! I asked them about a hundred times if I'd have holes and they all looked at me like I was insane. I also thought it'd hurt when they came off but it didn't! I didn't feel a thing! So yeah. I freaked out over nothing. ANYWAYS. Tomorrow I go to pick up my retainer it's purple and it has a unicorn on it. In my words, "It's totally pimp" so yeah. Feel free to tell me I'm gorgeous.

Oh my Goddess. I forgot to ask you a question. Uhm what was the worst thing about having braces? If you've never had braces, would you want them?